il0vey0u*

Friday, February 03, 2012

first mth of 2012 have past..
and i thought i got survive a wonderful 2012..
na.. not really..
somehow i got pissed at hz for nth and even shouted at him.. and know i think he is -.- with me.
oh well..
i dont really know what to say i just wan to live a normal life..
is it hard is it possible?
actually it is..
i just need to open up my heart and stop being so selfish..
and somehow..
i need to start learning how to survive on my own and stop being such a happy go lucky kind of person..
mayb it's time to get serious and start having discipline
i wanna do so many things..
when i open up my msn..
i dont even know hu i can talk to..
isnt this too much of a loser..
i wan a normal life..
mayb i got to start beliving in reality..
i just stop thinking that everything is possible
i shld stop beliving in hardwork..
at the end of the day..
seriously..
if u cant produce..
u r a loser..
how true is this??

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|10:21 PM|

Thursday, October 27, 2011

im jealous..
is it really right to play at this age??
care nth n all?

my mind have been fuck up all this time..
i've no one to talk to..
i know i've..
i got two friend waiting to listen to my thought..
is just that i dont wan to let it out..
im just thinking..

people say that all we've to do now is study..
get good result..
dont play too much..
dont be a gangster..
be a good boy..

how many of this is true??
im not saying by following all this we are nerd..
i've seen many having good life while beening good in studies..
mayb they really manage their time wisely..
they dont play game in sch.
they dont get distracted..
they have the right approach to stuff..

since young i have been very quiet..
even in secondary sch.
is only when i came to poly i've become hu i am now
mayb i really cant adapt to this life..
mayb i will just be a loner for life..
no friends..
no one to be ard with..

if only i can learn to accept anyone..
regardless of face wealth health religon etc..
if only i can learn to be more open

yeah i know she aint mine..
but aint it obvious?
im rapidly losing...
y?
i've been thinking alot..
i know its not her fault..
its my fault..
budden seriously..
dont one have to give in?
mayb she do..
mayb i just have too much pride..
mayb i m just a born loser..

i admit..
i wont have huge mind again..
i give up..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|10:30 PM|

Monday, October 17, 2011

30 days..
give me the strength..

let me last for 30 more days
i swear..
if u treat me good i will treat u two times better..

i dont know
mayb i am despo..
mayb i am really in love..
for u r the one hu make me forget zhenyee.
i just hope u were serious about me..
cause i think i will break if you dont..

and i must grow up
i cant continuing being childish
if you choose it urself.. then dont complaint!
stop crying over and over again..
u wont be able to grow this way..
wake up..
it's not like u r in a loss?
u still have her..
n u r not even suppose to go ard asking for numbers...
so what if she dont reply..
does it make u a loser?
mayb for them..
sry for being so hostile towards them..
but they have really left a bad impression in my mind..
in anw..
i've think it thru today..

i dont know what cause my moodless mood
mayb it's money..
cause i seirously loss a lot..
budden mayb its really time for me to grow up
and accept small little facts
and to treat ur friends like ur brother..
for all i know..
i treat u as my brother..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|10:46 PM|

Monday, October 10, 2011

im so bored that i have no choice but to blog..
but seriously..
it's a totally new episode.

no more zhenyee..
i think somehow i've forgotten her..
suprise?
i am shock myself..
budden is not that i really forget her..
is just that everytime i c her..
im like..
hate..

o well..
anw..
realise im no longer the marcy i use to be..
rmb back in the secondary sch days..
im just a quiet lil boy hu let other decide on what to do..
even if it is something i hate so much
i dislike so much
i still didnt dare to argue back or anything..
i just let things go according to how ppl wan it to be..

but now...
i am somehow evil
i wan things to go my way..
i think i am far more superior then the others.
i think that i am king
ppl got to obey..
n i hate ppl hu go about talking bout how good they are
cause i think i am the best..

what a ultra change of char huh..
haiz..
anw..
i am bored..
i hate everybody..
i kinda think im living for myself..
hate ppl to get in my way..
love money..
hate ppl..
love money
hate ppl..
haizz..
):

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|4:36 PM|

Saturday, September 10, 2011

so what makes me blog this time after like many many many many days/mths..

yeap..
it's you AGAIN!

decided to go sch today to do at least something on fyp..
btw my slipper broke in the bus! -.-

ANW!
the first time back in sch during hols..
i saw YOU!
omg
m i that lucky..
no wonder i keep losing in poker -.-

so...
u came to me and wave at me..
which i seriously wish u didnt..
cause ur freaking smile just fuck me up..
turn to my left..
there he is..
tim er..
whatever his name is..
ok..

blah blah blah..
and i went back home..
i went to see your blog and realise..
wow..
he became from a classmate to a <3
ok i am not jealous here or anything..
ok actually i am..
but just..
y him??
seriously.. i rather u pick sebas..

anw..
after that i talk to myself for like them 30 mins...
ok mayb shorter...
but im like..
is this fair?
then i think again..
is this fair for that xin min guy?
no..
two questions:
y r u giving new ppl chances hu just know you
rather than people hu love u since day one?
N
y m i complaining if they are much worse worse than me??

ok..
so peace out guyz..
cause i think i can do it anymore..
i hate everything now..
i just dont like humans..
talk to mei/jie however she want to be called..
n i wrote this
"but seroiusly..
*i have only one wish for earth..
*world peace..
*fuck everybody
*fuck them so haard until they learn to respect each other.."

(: peace out guyz..
if i wan peace..
i make peace..
so it got to be start with ME! i will try..
<3

note: zhenyee.. just so you know.. i am still here waiting for you.. seriously..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|1:13 AM|

Saturday, July 30, 2011

i finally manage to post after all the projects. -.-

but seriously..
am i suppose to be happy or sad??
if current life..
i think i am fucking sad..

ok so what?
i just feel that..
it's just empty talks..
revenge??
it's still in my head..
rmb the first time..
it's not the same..
completely..
i dont know wth you are thinking i dont know wth you are doing..
<3 means?
shit?
complete shit..
who knows..
10 years ltr..
love has lost its value..
no one knows what love is..
is love a game?

if you have no intention of keeping this shit alive..
then so be it..
im tired.
i quit..
i dont wanna go on anymore..
i've thought bout it..
studies is just an excuse..
yeah u wanna go ac
so?
are words that hard to type?
is it so time consuming that you can even spare me some time?
sick..
another bloody excuse..
ok..
ya sick
but you hang out till so late and i dont know..
i dont know wth you are doing..
ignore whatever i am saying
n just bomb something that ya tired..
you may b studying?
so what?

if it's alr like this now..
what will happen to the future.
mayb it's due to ur "long lasting relationship"
dude..
if u aint giving chances..
how can it last?

the last thing i thought of is..
you dont even have any interest in me..
which is highly possible..
n ya forcing urself for god knows what reason..

whatever it is i dont care..
you wanna wait till o's
u wait..
i am not being petty or jealous over examination whiuch determine ur future..
it's just..
y wont u even spare 10 mins of ur time with me?

am i asking for too much?
i dont know
you need to study
so do i..
yeah
i m so freaking busy...
do i just give a OWR?
no..
nv..
cause i think that will just spoil relationship..
i dont know what u r seeking or what u r after..
revenge..
that's all i can think of..

and i have something to confess..
zy is still the one i love most even at this type.
i swear..
even how i hate her for i dont know..
can i just say not giving me chance?
giving two bloody bastard some chance..
i mean..
tsk..
mayb i am just that bad that even someone would to ditch me for my friend..
tsk..

i've so many thing to say..
so..
you are an idiot an asswipe and a fucker..
n u seriously think you r v pro..
like seriously?
so what if u have all the str in the world?
ok..
ya big
i am jealous..
i have no arguement on that..
but do u know what's something called as humble?
just fucking keep ur mouth shout..
and if u wanna play with him in class..
just fucking sit beside him n dont shout across my bloody face or stretch ur fucking arm over me cause i am listening to class..
n if you wanna show of ur skills..
please dont..
no doubt u r strong..
but seriously..
it's just ur cards..
and please dont bloody blame others if u lose..
and lastly..
please dont help ppl do things..
you may not have offend me in anyway..
you i seriously cant stand the way u distrub ppl..
it's way too much..
i seroiusly wonder how she fall for you..
like..
...
...
...

tsk..
do i have anymore to say?
ya..
i wanna die..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|12:03 AM|

Sunday, July 10, 2011

tsk..
im in love?

seems weird..
but..
yeah..
that feeling just came back..
y? i dont know..
its quite unexpected..use to hate her you know?

this feeling is so strong.. it may even be more than u..
suprising huh.
it has been a few days..
budden just currently..
you ignored me..
mayb it's due to ur work.
so i dont wanna mind about all this..

i will c you on 20th july ok..
i seriously cant wait to see you..
you pure and innocent heart.
i cant really tell what type of person u r..
but at least i know i am happy being with you..
your smile so swt..
it really melts me..

but sometimes i really think im thinking too much..
how can you even like me?
you are like that smart kid next door..
but i am not that dumb too right??
if you love me..
i will love you 2 times more..
i swear to that..
please dont play me..
i am weak inside..
i just wanna a normal life..
and you are the one to complete it <3

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|5:01 PM|